Divorce Papers in My Baby’s Gift Box? Fine—I Signed Them! Chapter 01
At our daughter’s first birthday party, Ryan Whitmore said his family had a tradition. Emma was supposed to pick something from a gift box for good luck.
The first time, Emma pulled out a black lace thong.
The entire room went silent. Maddie Cole, my husband’s so-called “bro,” was the first to laugh. She blinked at me with a look of mock innocence.
“Oh my God, I’m so sorry. That’s my fault. Last time Ryan and I were goofing around and swapping clothes, I must’ve left it with him. Nora, you don’t mind, do you?”
Was I supposed to be okay with that?
But I held it in. It was Emma’s birthday party, and I didn’t want to ruin the mood.
The second time, Emma grabbed a stack of papers.
I thought they were trust documents prepared by one of the older relatives, and I was just about to put them away when Maddie laughed again.
“Nora, are you really that obsessed with money? You’re putting them away without even looking? Don’t tell me you thought it was the deed to a house.”
She pulled out a few pages and tossed them in front of me.
I looked down.
Perfect. They were divorce papers. And Ryan had already signed them.
I looked at him and asked, “Is this what you want?”
Ryan froze for a second, but his first reaction was to step in front of Maddie and shield her.
“Enough. Today is supposed to be a good day. Maddie was only joking. Don’t take it seriously.”
Maddie poked her head out from behind him and arched an eyebrow.
“Joking? Ryan, don’t tell me you’re scared now. Weren’t you the one who wanted to do this little tradition?”
Every guest at the table was looking at me.
Fine.
If today’s theme was supposed to be a joke, then I could play along too.
I picked up the pen and signed my name on the divorce papers.
“Fine. I agree to the divorce.”
What they did not know was this: I never joke.
The moment I stepped onto the plane with my daughter, every phone in the room lit up.
Get ready for the gift I left you.
This is my joke for you.
…
“Nora, are you insane? Maddie accidentally put those in there. They’re not real! Why can’t you take a joke?”
“Accidentally? You accidentally hired a lawyer to draft the papers, accidentally signed them, and then accidentally put them in our daughter’s birthday box?”
“Ryan, should I call you stupid, or should I say you think I’m stupid?”
Maddie reached for the papers with a look that practically said I was being difficult.
“Come on, it was just a dare. If you really can’t handle it, I’ll tear them up for you, okay?”
Ryan frowned too.
“It was just a joke. Why are you taking this so personally? I’ll tear them up right now, okay?”
“Enough!”
I heard the blame in his voice, as if I was the one being unreasonable. At last, all the hurt and anger I had been holding back exploded.
“A joke. A joke. It’s always a joke!”
Maddie flushed my wedding ring down the toilet and cut up my wedding dress. That was a joke.
When I was pregnant, she spilled wine on the floor and caused me to go into premature labor. When I wasn’t home, she put a dead rat in Emma’s blanket and scared our daughter so badly she ran a high fever for days. Those were jokes too.
And now, at our daughter’s first birthday party, she put lingerie and divorce papers into the birthday box.
It was still a fucking joke.
I looked at Ryan and asked him, word by word, “Then what if I poisoned her drink right now and said I was only joking too?”
The moment the words left my mouth, Ryan slapped Maddie’s glass out of her hand.
Crash!
The glass shattered, and the shards sliced across my ankle.
I looked at the worry on Ryan’s face and suddenly found the whole thing unbearably pointless.
I shoved the divorce papers into his arms, picked up Emma, and turned to leave.
“Have your lawyer contact me tomorrow.”
“I was never joking.”