He Said I Couldn’t Leave. Then I Died Chapter 01

After my parents’ bitter divorce battle ended in tragedy, I developed a severe trauma-related disorder.

Graham Whitaker took me home. Patiently, little by little, he taught me how to speak again after the trauma had stolen my voice.

“Lily’s my little hand-fed bird,” he used to say. “All she needs is to stay safe in the palm of my hand.”

I thought he’d saved me. I gave him everything I had.

Then, one weekend, Graham drove me to Seabrook Beach.

“Lily, I’m going to give you a romantic proposal. Just the two of us.”

I was so excited I thought I had to be the happiest woman alive.

But as I stood there with my eyes closed, waiting, an entire bucket of thick red liquid came pouring down over my head.

The next second, more than a dozen high-intensity lights shone directly at me. People crowded around me, laughing and taking pictures.

My body locked up. I clutched my head and screamed. The shock left me coughing and struggling to catch my breath.

Tessa Reed, a younger researcher from Graham’s university, held up her phone, livestreaming the whole thing. She was laughing so hard she could barely stand.

“Hand-fed bird? More like a scared little bird!”

“See? She made it through the fright. Told you my desensitization treatment would work.”

My best friend, Maya Collins, fought back a laugh and ruffled Tessa’s hair.

“You worked so hard, Tessa. Getting all that red liquid must’ve taken some effort.”

My older brother, Evan Hayes, barely glanced at me before giving Tessa a thumbs-up.

“She’s just being dramatic. This is exactly the kind of treatment she needs.”

Only then did Graham emerge from the back of the crowd, looking completely unbothered.

“Lily, don’t be mad. Tessa’s only trying to help you.”

“You can’t start trembling every time you see a red rose at our wedding, can you?”

The ocean wind chilled my soaked clothes. The sticky red liquid gave off a sharp, unpleasant smell.

At last, I understood. The only person I could ever depend on was myself.

Covered in red liquid, I dragged myself toward the water.

Footsteps hurried after me. Graham grabbed my arm, alarmed.

“Lillian Hayes, have you lost your mind?”

“You’re going to do something reckless over something this small?”

The pain inside me was so deep it had gone numb. I shook his hand off.

“I just want to wash this stuff off.”

He released me with a relieved breath, then looked at the red liquid on his hand in disgust.

Tessa rushed over with a cleaning wipe and cleaned his fingers for him. Then she turned a mocking smile on me.

“No, you can’t wash it off. The red liquid has to stay on you for twenty-four hours to work.”

Maya chimed in.

“Exactly, Lily. Tessa prepared it especially for you. This is supposed to be intense exposure. If you wash it off, you’ll ruin the effect.”

Another wave of panic crashed over me. My ears rang so sharply I thought I might faint. All I could see was a blur of red.

I focused on staying conscious.

Ignoring them, I kept walking toward the ocean.

Suddenly Evan grabbed my wrist and stopped me from leaving.

A sharp ache shot through my shoulder. I bent forward, feeling sick.

“Lillian Hayes, are you done making a scene?” he snapped. “You’ve embarrassed us enough already. Can’t you behave for once?”

I struggled desperately to pull away from him.

“Let me go! I don’t want any of you taking care of me!”

Graham looked disappointed.

“Lily, can you calm down? How are we ever supposed to get married if you keep refusing treatment?”

I gave him a bleak smile.

“Then we won’t get married. Graham, we’re over.”

Graham hadn’t slept properly in three months. Whenever a nightmare woke me, he still held me, but there was no tenderness left in his eyes. Only exhaustion he could no longer hide.

A sharp sound broke the silence.

Tessa suddenly stepped forward, her face twisted with anger.

She acted as though she had every right to be furious.

“Lillian Hayes, do you have any idea how ungrateful you sound? Do you know how much work Graham turned down for you? How many books on trauma recovery he’s read?”

“Your brother’s been too worried about you to start a family of his own! Maya gave up studying abroad just to stay by your side! Have you thought about how they feel before saying something like that?”

Graham sighed and crouched until his face was level with mine.

“Lily, don’t threaten me with a breakup. We both know you can’t live without me.”

“You can’t keep dwelling on your pain forever. Tessa knows what she’s doing. You have to trust her.”

Maya leaned toward Tessa.

“Tessa, check how many viewers the livestream got!”

Tessa swiped across her phone. Her eyes lit up.

“100,000 people watched! Yes! My research project is finally complete!”

I stared at her in disbelief.

100,000 strangers had watched my trauma response. 100,000 people had treated my distress like a joke.

Tessa lifted her chin proudly.

“My graduate thesis is about treating trauma-related disorders. Graham, you promised you’d help me finish my experiment. You can’t back out now.”

Evan added casually, “Lily, Tessa’s an expert in this stuff. You should be grateful she’s willing to use you as a research subject.”

Anger and grief weighed on me at once. My whole body shook.

Were they trying to save me? Or had they simply handed me over to Tessa as her experiment?