The Contract Said Leave After, His Mind Said Please Stay Chapter 04
Over the next few days, I launched what I privately called my “poke the bear” plan. Actually, no — “ice-breaking” plan sounded less suicidal.
Step one: show up more.
Before this, I only saw Julian for our bi-weekly “appointment” and the occasional breakfast.
Now, I started putting myself in his path.
One night, he was working late in his study, and I walked in carrying a glass of water.
“I brought you some water, Mr. Sterling.” He didn’t even look up.
“Put it there.”
[Why is she bringing me water? She’s never done that before. Does she need something from me?]
[Or… no, don’t overthink it.]
I didn’t leave. I stood there beside him until he finally looked up.
“Is there anything else?”
[Come closer, come closer, come closer.]
“Nothing. You’ve just been working for a while, and I wanted to make sure you weren’t going to pull an all-nighter.” He went still.
[Is she… worried about me? She’s actually worried about me?]
“Got it.” He dropped his gaze back to his paperwork.
[Don’t go. Don’t go. Don’t go.]
“Well, good night, then.”
[Of course.]
“Wait.” I stopped.
He didn’t look up, his eyes still on the page, his pen scratching over the paper.
“Tomorrow… don’t worry about coming down for breakfast. I’ll have it brought up to your room.”
[That counts as caring, right? She checked on me. I’m feeding her. We’re even now.]
I said okay.
Back in my room, I caught my reflection in the mirror and had to clap a hand over my mouth. Even?
You think sending up breakfast puts you on equal footing? Julian, have you ever dated anyone in your life?
Step two: break the touch barrier.
One evening, I was watching TV in the living room. For once, Julian wasn’t working late — he was on the other end of the couch, scrolling his phone.
A whole couch cushion of empty space sat between us.
[What is she watching — some romance show? Who’s that guy? He’s not even that good-looking.]
[Is that her type?]
I faked a yawn and scooted closer. His thumb froze on the screen.
[Closer. She’s closer.]
I scooted again.
[God, she’s even closer.]
I closed the rest of the distance and rested my head on his shoulder. He turned to stone.
His phone almost hit the floor.
[That’s twice now. She’s done this twice. What does it mean? Does she actually — no. Calm down.]
[She’s probably just tired. Yeah, that’s it — just tired. The couch is hard and my shoulder is… what, more comfortable? Is that a thing?]
I closed my eyes, grinning like an idiot. Thank God he couldn’t see my face.
“Sleepy?” he asked.
His voice stayed perfectly even, but inside his head it was a different story.
[Don’t say you’re sleepy. Don’t say you’re sleepy. If she says she’s sleepy, she’ll go back to her room.]
“A little,” I said, “but I don’t want to move.”
[Fuck. She doesn’t want to move. She doesn’t want to move. That means she wants to stay.]
“Then stay,” he said.
He said it like it was nothing — like he was reading a stock ticker.
[Julian, you absolute genius. Nailed it. Totally natural. Ten out of ten.]
I nearly snorted out loud. I caught it just in time.
I stayed right where I was, leaning against him, and we watched TV for half an hour.
For the entire thirty minutes, his phone screen stayed on the same page. He didn’t read a single word.
His head was a mess.
[Her hair keeps brushing my neck. It tickles.]
[Her breathing is so quiet. Did she actually fall asleep?]
[If I smell her hair, is that weird? Yeah, that’s creepy.]
[But it smells so good.]
[One time should be fine, right? Just once.]
[… No. If she wakes up, I’ll never recover.]
Julian, it was too late for that. He’d already embarrassed himself beyond repair inside my head — over and over and over.